Human Rights should stop watching the news

I should stop watching the news

Repeal the Human Rights Act? Blinding idea, just other night I was sitting at home thinking about how I’ve got too many human rights and what I really need is for the government to take some of them away from me.

Sell off more council houses? Genius, just what the country needs, let’s get rid of the remaining handful of homes which are affordable for people who don’t work as hedge fund managers, that’s totally going to solve the housing crisis.

Let kids leave school at 14? Sure, why not create an entire generation of undereducated illiterates with zero employment prospects, how could there possibly be a downside to that?

Tax breaks for married couples? Great stuff. Why don’t we just round up all the single people and put them into prison camps while we’re at it?